Keep Your Family Strong.org

Children are complex and sometimes it's hard to know what they are thinking and feeling.

When a child is acting out or having a hard time socializing, parents need to
find out what's going on. It's important to talk to them and make sure everything
is okay.

Sometimes you might need help and your doctor may know where to go.
Your minister, school social worker, or other resource person can give
support and advice.

Early childhood center staff and other parents can also provide advice
and support.

QUESTIONS TO THINK ABOUT

How does your child get along with other kids? Is he able to solve problems that come up? What ways do you help?
When your child is sad or angry, how do you help her understand those feelings and express them in a positive way?
How do you express sadness and anger around your children? Think about a time when your child was having a rough time and things turned out well. What did you do?
Think about a time when your child was having a rough time and things tured out well. What did you do?
What's the best wasy to handle a child who is having a hard time or acting out?
How do you both recognize
and accept your child's feelings, and still expect them to follow
your directions when they don't want to?

SOME PARENTS SAY...

"I used to think it was all about getting my child to behave—now I realize it's about helping her learn to manage her feelings."
"I was so embarrassed when my child was biting that I had a hard time reacting calmly."
"At our preschool, a child was acting out. Instead of hitting him, the teacher talked with him calmly and got him to apologize to the class. I was amazed and thought, 'How did she do that?"
"I think it's important for my daughter to have her own voice—it lets her know that I value her opinion and that I want to know how she feels."
"This sounds weird, but I didn't actually think of my son as a person with feelings until he told me how she felt. He learned that in preschool."
"I wouldn't have thought the 'kind and gentle approach' would work—but it really does."
"For me, listening was important. Now I can see what makes my daughter tick."

I'M HELPING MY CHILDREN COMMUNICATE WHEN...

"I get beyond my own feelings of shame, embarrassment, frustration, or anger to really understand what she is going through."
"I ask him, 'How does that make you feel?''
"I help her understand what she is feeling—for example, by saying, 'You look sad.'"
"I make time to talk with him."
"She tells me she's had a bad day."
"I can tell what he's feeling by the specific way he's crying…so I give it a name – to help him 'use his words' and understand his own feelings."

6 Ways to Keep Your
Family Strong